Academic Failure
by Aria of Clarets
Summary: School gets crazier and crazier with the more people you meet, and it's pure insanity when you go to the World Academy. See, you've got your Magic Trio (Quartet? Quintet? No one's quite sure), Awesome Trio, Bad Friends Trio, Gourmet Club, and tons of others. Oh, was it mentioned that all of these students come from all over the world? Human Gakuen AU
1. Chapter 1

_[Hello readers! Just a short I wanted to write after I saw this amazing picture on zerochan. This was originally part of a project I wanted to do, but I've changed my mind! Although it is currently a one-shot, I may add more stories to this. Set in a Human Gakuen universe, where the school is sort of like a middle to post secondary school. The teachers are just unnamed human OCs (since I can't bear making any canon characters bad). They don't need names yet. Rated for potty mouths, sexual themes, mentions of drugs and etc. Please read and review!]_

* * *

Arthur Kirkland could not have felt angrier at the moment. He and his club, consisting of two other boys who both shared a like of magic, had been caught doing what the Headmaster claimed to be drugs. It was completely unfair! They had simply been doing a spell to fix a table they had broke, but no, they had been busted and thrown in to detention. Just his jolly luck.

_It's all that bloody French frog's fault! He was probably the one who told that stupid American to come! _he thought angrily. Oh yes, Francois will most definitely pay for this. After all, Arthur Kirkland never forgets a grudge, and oh boy, revenge will be absolutely sweet. The Briton chuckled darkly at the very thought. If he was going to make his revenge meaningful, he would have to start planning it now.

Aksel Bondevík on the other hand, couldn't care less about his situation. The only thing on his mind was his little brother Eiríkur, and if the boy would even make it back to the dorms. Fine, so maybe his brother wasn't that young and could clearly take care of himself for a short while, but what if a robber happened to bust through in to their dorm? Or if a paedophile happened to pass by when Eiríkur was walking alone? Or if a psychotic serial killer came? Or if Eiríkur hurt himself? Oh, the possibilities were endless!

_Maybe I should just walk out of detention and make sure that he is all right. Surely the time I missed can be made up. Besides, it _IS_ my job to watch over Eiríkur. _the stoic boy pondered. Gazing out the window, he wondered how far off the ground he was. Perhaps he could just jump out the window, walk his brother back to their dorm and run back here. Soon, the Norwegian boy was lost in his thoughts.

Ioan Lupei on the other,_ other_ hand, was quite pleased with himself. He didn't mind detention, he certainly loved being in a classroom with two good friends and a pot-bellied teacher. What fun!

The story as to how the trio landed in detention was quite amusing. It all started when they had been cleaning out an old room for their club, when they found an old, but broken three-legged table. It was absolutely perfect for seances and they had all agreed that it was rather nice. It was once a smooth, oaken table with a faded chalk-drawn transmutation circle. The trio had decided to try and fix it with their amazing magic, and had nearly succeeded when that American student -what's his name...oh right, Alfred F. Jones- had walked in on them. He started yelling something, which none of them quite understood, and next thing they knew, the headmaster was there and started shouting at them to stop sniffing crack or some other nonsense like that.

And that's how they landed in detention. Ioan looked around to see who else was stuck in here. There was a Belarusian girl who's name was well-known, in a bad way, Natalya Arlovskaya was probably in here for trying to kill Alfred, or threatening to toss a knife at whoever made her mad. She was busy doodling something in her notebook. Next was a German-sorry-_Prussian_ boy who was famous for being synonymous with trouble. Gilbert Beilshmidt had 'accidentally' thrown a cream pie at a the headmaster and later got in a fight with that Hungarian jerk and badly dissed the Austrian music guy. For some reason, he was texting and the teacher didn't even look up. Then there was a Greek boy, Heracles Karpusi, who was asleep in every class, save for philosophy, who was still asleep. Next was a Polish guy who seemed to love cross-dressing and had the biggest valley girl accent Ioan had ever heard. Apparently, Feliks Łukasiewicz had sassed the secretary and was promptly sent to detention. Ioan wondered why the teachers even bothered sending him to detention.

Just then, Aksel raised his hand. The pot-bellied teacher looked over his glasses and sighed. "What is it, Mr Bondevík?"

"Can I go make sure my brother is okay?" he asked in a very deadpan fashion.

"No, I'm sure your he's fine. Actually, isn't he like, sixteen? Why do you even care?" the teacher replied.

"So? It is still my job to make sure that he is okay."

"Like, just let him go, sir. He's like, totally not gonna like, stop bugging you 'cause you say that." Feliks piped up. Really, he just wanted to see how the teacher would react.

" Mr Łukasiewicz, I do not appreciate your sass. Now kindly stay out of this." the teacher deadpanned.

Ioan grinned. He wanted to join in the fun as well. "Sir, Feliks is right! Aksel isn't gonna stop 'till you let him go."

"Like, totes right? And like, you should know 'cause you two like always hang out together." the Pole giggled.

Aksel, however, remaining true to his reputation, didn't even bat an eyelash. "Sir, as much as I dislike these two butting in on my business, I must say that they are correct. I shall not stop until I receive a satisfying answer."

"Well maybe you should've thought of that before you were caught doing crack with your two friends."

That got Arthur mad.

"What the bloody hell! We were not doing bloody crack!" Arthur exploded angrily.

"Like you guys were doin' drugs? Gross, like really, gross." Feliks gagged.

"We weren't doing bloody crack! We were playing around with a table and some dust just flew up! God, is everyone here an idiot?!" Arthur yelled.

That set Feliks and Arthur in to a huge argument that eventually included World War Two and ponies. Ioan wasn't sure how that happened, but it did.

"Everyone just shut the hell up before I fucking rip out your balls and shove them up your asses!" Natalya growled angrily from her seat. She had succeeded in grabbing everyone's attention, except for Heracles who was still sleeping. Even Gilbert looked up from his texting.

"Miss Arlovskaya, I do not appreciate being spoken to like that and your language is most definitely not acceptable!"

"Oh I cannot give a gram of fuck as to what you have to say, _sir_. Just let Bondevík go would you?" she snapped.

Suddenly, everyone, save for Ioan, Aksel and Heracles, everyone started talking rather loudly. It was rather harsh on the ears, with loud voices mixed with heavy accents and so many languages all being spoken at the same time. Aksel quietly left, which only Ioan noticed.

"Okay, okay, _okay_! Fine, all of you can leave detention! Geez, what's wrong with you kids? I need an aspirin, so just go and don't come back." the teacher grumbled. Arthur, Gilbert and Feliks left excitedly, Heracles seemed to hear them being dismissed and left quietly, leaving Ioan and Natalya alone.

"Hey, Natalya, great job! Looks like our plan worked! I guess he snaps once he starts hearing all of our accents clashing!" the Romanian boy said cheerfully.

Her lip curled ever so slightly. "Yes, it appears so. Rather amusing is it not? That hearing accents like ours all together gives him a headache."

"Hahaha, you're right! Anyways, thanks for helping out with the experiment!"

"I was happy to help."

* * *

_[That's it! If you're wondering, Aksel Bondevík is my human name for Norway, Eiríkur Steilsson is Iceland and Ioan Lupei is my human name for Romania. I don't like using Vlad since I think it gives him a bad image. I guess there's a slight RomBela at the end, only if you twist it. Headcanon that Bela and Norge don't use contractions. Personally, I think Bela and Romania could be friends, and I think that Romania would do something like this. Again, please read and review!]_


	2. Chapter 2

_[Since I was so pleased with the responses I got with the first one, I will make this a collection of stories around this AU. Hong Kong stars in this one, with Romania and Belarus making appearances. I think I'm going to make these two good friends, since I can't find anything canon that would say otherwise, and this is a Human AU. Headcanon that Romania gives people nicknames. The headmaster is now called Mr Murphy. I think the main characters will change every story. So I think Norge is next. Please read and review!]_

* * *

"So, Leo, how did you end up here?" Ioan asked leaning back in his chair. They were sitting outside the principal's office. It was pretty much the norm to find Ioan there, since he always seemed to get in trouble, but hardly ever got badly punished for it.

"Do you really want to know?" the Chinese boy asked wearily. Ioan winced slightly, Leon made it sound like it was a war or something.

"S-sure? I mean, it couldn't have been as bad as _my_ reason."

"What did you do then?"

"Ah, I scared a substitute teacher by wearing fangs, a cape and fake blood. Then I said my name was Vlad Dracul in an accent and that I descended from Vlad the Impaler. Next, I told her all about him and detailed the killings and promptly told her that I wanted to drink her blood. Turns out she was anemic and she fainted and here I am." the Romanian boy said proudly.

"Uh-huh. And what made you think that was totally acceptable to do?" Leon practically deadpanned.

"Well, why wouldn't it be acceptable? It's not like anyone died or got injured or anything!"

"Are you not too carelessly eccentric, Lupei?" Natalya's smooth voice asked.

"Oh, hey Nat! I was just telling Leo how I ended up outside the office! Do you want to hear it?" Ioan said cheerfully.

"I heard of your antics from Beilshmidt and Héderváry. Despite how amusing it was, you did indeed hurt someone, the teacher." she replied.

"How?"

"Well, let us see: she was anemic and you threatened -"

"'Threatened' is too strong a word! I prefer to use 'suggested'!"

"You _threatened_ to drink her blood and detailed the impaling that Vlad Dracul had committed and did all that while using Count Dracula's accent. I believe _anyone_ who does not know you would be terrified." Natalya repeated sharply.

"You two are like, messed." Leon shook his head.

Natalya arched an eyebrow. "Oh? Then please, do tell us of how you are here."

Leon shrugged. "Fine, so I was in Homeroom and Erika, you know, Basch's little sister, was like, saying something about how all the teachers were at a meeting or something. Then, that Danish kid, the one that always bugs Eiríkur's brother, what's his name?"

"Magnus Densen?" Ioan supplied.

"Yeah, Magnus. Anyways, Magnus was like, in our class bugging Eiríkur 'bout something and then after a while, he started bugging me. Then, he like dared me to light a firecracker in class. So I did, and it like, singed the teacher's eyebrows off and then he like, yelled at me and here I am."

"Mr Murphy is ready to see - oh wait. It's you three trouble-makers. Just wait here and don't try anything funny." the secretary sighed.

When the secretary was out of ear-shot, Ioan grinned at his two companions. "C'mon, let's just ditch."

"Meh, you can it you wanna." the Chinese boy mumbled as he put his headphones on.

Ioan glared at Leon. "Thanks for your enthusiasm, Leon Lei. But you'll ditch with me, right, Nat? Let's just ditch the ol' turd."

"Very interesting, Lupei, but you may fancy turning around." the blonde tilted her head and was glancing behind Ioan.

"I'm pleased to hear that you think I am a 'old turd', Mr Lupei." the headmaster's voice boomed behind the Romanian. His voice had a snooty sound to it, like he was forcing his clipped accent.

"Oh, _bună ziua_, Mr. Murphy! How are you on this fine day? Lovely weather, hm?" Ioan smiled cheerfully. Behind him, Natalya groaned and covered her face.

"Flattery will not work, Mr. Lupei. And please do kindly speak _English_ in this academy. Now, to my office.." the older man said stiffly.

When he entered his room, Natalya poked Leon with her finger, which promptly earned her a loud yelp.

"He wants us to go in. Now." she told him, rubbing her ears a bit.

"S-sorry, but was it like, totally necessary to _poke_ me? Like, it really hurt." he grumbled while examining the damage the Belarusian did.

"I'm _waiting_." Mr. Murphy's voice was tinged with impatience.

"Stop crying, Leo! Nat, stop injuring people!" Ioan practically chirped.

When the three of them _finally _got in to the room, Mr. Murphy was chafed, to say the least.

"I am glad that you three finally decided to come in." he sniffed.

"May we move on? I do not know about you, but some of us have work to do." Natalya replied briskly.

"Hmph, very well. We'll start with you, Mr. Lei. Let's see, you have been sent in for possession of firecrackers, purposefully causing a fire hazard, singing off a teacher's eyebrows and back-talking him. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I didn't _back-talk_ him. Like, I just told him that his hair was fake. Like, it fell off and stuff and it was pretty creepy-ish and stuff." Leon told the elder with a straight face and mono-tone voice.

"Mr. Lupei, where do I begin? You dressed up like Count Dracula, complete with an accent, claimed to have been a descendant of Vlad Dracula, detailed his murders and then told her you were going to drink her blood. What do you have to say?"

Ioan laughed. "Ah, that was great fun. Even though Erzsébet and I ended up arguing over whether he was a hero or tyrant. Of course, he's the former, but ya know, Hungarians seem to think he's evil and crap but-"

"I am not interested in his history, Mr. Lupei." the headmaster said sharply.

"I am offended, sir!"

"Now, Miss Arlovskaya, let's count up _your_ offenses, hm? Possession of knives in class, threatening to castrate Mr. Jones, breaking Mr. Laurinaitis's fingers, scaring the school nurse, threatening to eviscerate Mr. Jones and threatening to rip out Mr. Jones's...er...genitals. What do you have to say?"

"He deserved it. That bastard has the nerve to try and ask me out! Toris was just annoying me and he did not object to me breaking his fingers. I doubt he even noticed." Natalya scoffed.

"Clearly, you trouble-makers aren't going to listen to reason. All three of you, in-school suspension for the next month. God, I need a vacation." the headmaster scribbled something down and pointed to his door. "Miss Arlovskaya, Mr. Lupei you may leave. I wish to have a word with Mr. Lei."

Ioan and Natalya dutifully obeyed and left. Once they were out in the hall, they burst out in to laughter.

"Did you hear his accent?" Ioan crowed happily.

"Yes! It is most definitely a fake! Beilshmidt and Héderváry were right!" Natalya grinned.

"What are you two laughing about?" Aksel asked blankly when he saw the pair laughing uncontrollably.

"You know how Gilbert and Erzsébet were telling us how Mr. Murphy has a fake accent?" Ioan managed through his laughter.

"Yes, and?"

"And it appears that he is faking a British accent! It is so awful, it is hysterical." Natalya giggled.

"Oh? Well, Magnus was telling me something similar a few days ago. Seems he was right." Aksel mused. So the Dane wasn't lying after all.

"I wonder what happened to Leo." Ioan suddenly stopped laughing and lightly tapped hid finger against his chin.

"He probably got a lecture for carrying firecrackers and lighters around." Natalya answered.

"Remind me not to let Eiríkur near Leon Lei again." Aksel told them.

* * *

_[Leon Lei/Lei Siu Chun=Hong Kong (I'm using the Cantonese spelling since it makes more sense for Hong Kong and easier for me)_

_Magnus Densen=Denmark_

_Erika Vogel=Liechtenstein_

_bună ziua=Good day (Romanian)_

_I just realized I forget to add periods to somethings like 'Mr.' but technically it's still right. It's just really difficult to remember the period since it's way over there by the Shift key. So it's just going to fluctuate. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed it! I decided to give Mr. Murphy a fake accent because I thought it would make England mad when he hears it. I actually several things to put up, but because I'm a lazy jerk, I'll put it off.]_


	3. Chapter 3

_[Just a small little thing about how Bela and Romania became friends. From here on out, each personal chapter will be in 1st POV. There weren't very many updates lately, since I've bombarded with homework, sickness and plagued with Writer's Block. Please read and review!]_

* * *

**~*~*~*A Romanian, a Belarusian and an American*~*~*~**

I didn't have very many friends. I certainly had a lot of acquaintances, but very few of them did I consider friends. In fact, I'll name them right now. There's this Bulgarian guy, Aleksander Sokolov, an Italian ditz, Feliciano Vargas, an English guy who loves magic just as much as I do, Arthur Kirkland, and a stoic Norwegian, Aksel Bondevík. Not very many, right?

Anyway, I thought it would stay that way for the rest of the year, but luckily, a certain Slavic family decided here. The three kids were all very funny, in their in special way. Like most of the others in the Academy, they came from a different ethnicity.

The oldest sister, the one who took care of them, was called Sofiya Chernenko. Boy, she had _huge_ cups. I swear, she was at least a double D. Other than that, she was fairly average, with blue eyes and short blonde hair with clips and a headband.

The brother was pretty weird-looking. His name was Ivan Braginsky. He was tall and wore a long scarf, and it was summer. He had violet eyes, blond hair and a rather large nose.

The youngest sister, Natalya Arlovskaya, was pretty creepy. She had violet-blue eyes and long blonde hair with a white ribbon.

I hated her.

You wanna know why? I just walked up and ask her what her name is, and she just snubbed me! _Doamne, _you would've thought I asked if I could sniff her! (Which I have totally never done.)

But now, we're good friends, despite how we treated each other on our first day together. Ha, many memories are coming back, especially how we became friends.

* * *

"So, Mr. Lupei, what have you done now?" Mr. Murphy sounded incredibly annoyed with me and Natalya. I pouted a bit, wasn't I his favourite student? He better have misdirected his rage at me that was so clearly for Natalya.

"Well, Jeffery, I've been nothing but a perfect, upstanding student." I told him sincerely.

"It's Mr. Murphy, and I know what you've done, Mr. Lupei."

I panicked, just slightly. "What? You have no proof that I saw you eat that sub's lunch! I was totally minding my own business when I smelt some medium-rare steak!"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, _domn_!"

"You are to speak English in this academy."

"_Scuze_, er, sorry."

"_Prabačcie_? We cannot use another language? _Heta hlupstva. _This is total bullshit, _ser_." Natalya scowled.

"_Sunt de acord_! I thought this was a multicultural school that would allow international students, such as us, adjust! This is outrageous, Jeff!" I added. Just for a split second, I thought I saw her giving me a look of approval.

"For god's sake, Mr. Lupei, do not refer to me as 'Jeff'!" Mr. Murphy exclaimed, exasperated.

I shrugged. "Whatever you want, Jeff. _Dorința ta este porunca mea_."

"_English_, please, Mr. Lupei."

"I'm so very sorry, Jeff."

"Do not call me 'Jeff'."

Natalya gave us an irritated glare. "May we move on with this idiotic conference, or whatever you wish to call it. Some of us have work to do."

"Fine then, Miss Arlovskaya, Mr. Lupei, then please do tell me what happened." Mr. Murphy snorted.

The blonde tossed her hair. "Lupei can go first. After all, everything he says is chock full of lies."

I chuckled. "Thanks ever so much, Natalya_,_" my voice was as cheerful as ever, which me promptly earned me a glare, "I am sure you're right. So, since Natalya is new here, I decided to help her out. And then, we kinda got in to a slight disagreement, which quickly escalated in to a food-fight, as I'm sure you can see." I gestured to our clothes which were stained with various foods.

"Miss Arlovskaya, you may give your story now."

"Thank you, sir. I can assure you that I shall give the true version," she said in a flat and cold voice, "I was just minding my own business, when all of a sudden, this Romanian boy just pops out of nowhere. Honestly, I did not need his help, as I was perfectly capable of it myself. However, even after I said I did not require his assistance, he ignored my request and he began talking at warp-speed! To say the very least, I was very shocked. Oh, and he was the one who instigated the food-fight."

That set us off in to another argument. After all, how dare she criminalize me!

"Both of you be quiet!" Mr. Murphy shouted. The two of us immediately shut up.

"Good grief, just keep your mouths shut for five minutes! Now, I have a call to attend to, so stay here and do not speak at all. I swear, if I hear either of you talking...you know what? Just behave."

Natalya and I nodded dutifully and we remained silent for a few minutes after he left. Then, Natalya got up quietly and strolled over to the window on the right.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Is it not obvious? I am escaping." she quietly snapped.

"I can see that, but that window leads to the front of the school. Totally inconspicuous, right, Miss Natalya Arlovskaya?"

If looks could kill, I would be long dead before I met Natalya, and if I ever came back to life, she would would end up killing me again.

"Fine then, tell me where the fuck would be a good spot for me to leave then?" her voice was strained, like she was trying not to kill me. Strange, I seem to evoke that voice a lot.

"Try the leftie. Leads out to the side of the building."

She narrowed her eyes. "And why did you not tell me earlier?"

"'Cause you didn't ask."

"God send me strength." she muttered. She stalked over to the left window and silently opened it. I got up and peered out.

"Do you mind giving me some space?" she demanded irritably.

"Ah, sorry," I stepped aside, "do you want to ditch together? I'll let you leave first."

"...Fine. Only because you told me where to leave from." she sighed.

I grinned. "Aw, are ya sure it's not 'cause I'm so cool?"

A faint look of amusement flickered over her face. "Yes, I am sure. Now let us go before that bastard comes back, _dy_? He is already unpleasant, and I imagine he is worse when he is chafed."

I laughed. "_Da_, you can't imagine."

The Belarusian snorted as she stepped through the window and grabbed on to the ledge. "Is his office really only on the second floor? This will be nothing."

"Yeah, best escape route, I use it all the time, and the ol' turd still hasn't caught on yet." I carefully stepped over the ledge.

"Perhaps I have misjudged you, Ioan Lupei. You are not such a dolt."

"You're not that bad either, Nat."

* * *

"So, Ioan, let me get this straight: You and Miss Natalya both got in trouble for starting a food-fight. Then you two escaped from Murphy and used the window." Arthur groaned as I nodded enthusiastically.

"Natalya will probably be left with a stern warning, but you are a repeat offender, Ioan. And the Headmaster certainly does not hold you in high regard." Aksel added thoughtfully, er, as thoughtfully as Aksel can.

"Meh, who gives a crap about what that turd thinks? I've done worse, and got away with a lecture." I shrugged.

"So what do you three do all day? Are you some kind of druggie club? If so, I shall leave." Natalya eyed the old and worn furniture.

"Nah, we're a magic club." I informed her.

"All of us can see spirits." Arthur boasted rather proudly.

"Rather, at the very least, we can all see ghosts." Aksel corrected.

"It's all right if you can't, most people don't see them until they come visit my home in London." the Briton said quickly.

Natalya looked rather miffed at that. "Why, I can most definitely see ghosts. I must say, I am rather disappointed that most ghosts that I see are only hands or heads. They must not be confident enough to exist as their balls. Hm, what a shame, _dy_?"

The three of us exchanged looks. Not only can she see ghosts, but she said something rather outrageous, and most girls (minus Erzsébet) would be embarrassed to even say to their friends.

"Now, if you shall excuse me, I must go meet my _siastra_ and _brat_. It was...interesting to meet you all." Natalya quietly left the room, leaving Arthur and I shocked, and Aksel casually nodding to her.

* * *

_[Aleksander Sokolov=Bulgaria (I know that there's no patronymic, but the others who should have it, don't i.e. Russia, Belarus etc._

_Sofiya Chernenko=Ukraine (I visited the wiki and did a bit of research)_

_Doamne=My god (Romanian)_

_Domn=Sir (Romanian)_

_Scuze=Sorry (Romanian)_

_Sunt de acord=I agree (Romanian(It looks so much like French 'Je suis d'accord'))_

_Dorința ta este porunca mea=Your wish is my command (Romanian)_

_Prabačcie__=Pardon (Belarusian)_

_Heta hlupstva=This is bullshit (Belarusian)_

_Please note that I have romanized anything language that does not use the Latin Alphabet. I assume that in Hetalia, Kievan Rus' would be like a parent to Ukraine, Russia and Belarus, but maybe they left those three. I'm not really an expert in their history, and from my understanding, that's what I think. Ha, Jeff probably isn't a very good Headmaster, but I'm not too sure as to how they deal with stuff like that, since I behave at school. Except for once, which is a pretty funny story. Please feel free to correct me if anything is wrong!]_


End file.
